Comatose

• Shiori Tan, Grade 5, Carlingford Public School -
• Short Story
• 2022

Excellence Award in the 'Summertime Fun ONLINE' competition

A pale sliver of light wedged its way through the creaky blinds obscuring the small window. Tiles lay dusty upon the ground, sanitizer wafting in the air.
A sharp screech neared the room, shortly before a metal trolley was hauled in through the doorway, with an acrid lady behind it. She stared at the patient lying on the ivory bed, her lips pursing as she quickly swept through her daily errands.
Once done, she quickly left, without much thought given to the girl who was stuck in an enduring comatose.

She could hear things.
Feel things.
Sense things.
But none woke her up. Her mind was a sloppy mess of memories, scattered around like pebbles in a forest, whilst her inner voice screamed and yelled, hoping someone would hear.
She’d only gleaned shreds of her past, but every time she did, she’d have to fight against the smothering darkness that threatened to take who she was. The incident flashed by her, echoes and colors leaching from it in front of her. Her hair whipped around her as her broken mind carried herself toward a cliff, where she stood, then plummeted.
Over and over again.

She didn’t know why it was happening.
But the only thing which prevented it from occurring were the Outsiders, the people who’d visited her in the physical world.

Many people came and left, their devotion and hope for her diminishing and dwindling quickly, like a flame in a storm. Every time they’d visit, she’d fight and strain, urging her fingers to move, her eyes to at least blink, and her voice to speak.
Nonetheless, it never happened. She could feel herself failing, her mind cracking under the weight of the darkness. She felt like a moth; with only wings to hold her, but even then they were slowly disintegrating.

Time whirled by, only a cloud of sharp sounds and jostles.
She quickly fell into a cliff in her mind, a chasm swallowing her up for eternity.

A trance-like tune whistled around her.
Blinking, the girl stood up upon her bare tiptoes, light seeming to reach her everywhere.
She could hear the music notes clearly. It was soft at first, then loud, then soft again. It felt like a harmony of insects, unified and singing each of their individual songs of life.
Memories washed over her, and she cried out, swallowed by the melancholy.

A blanket of a midnight ebony sky looked over her, as stars twinkled and glowed like fireflies buzzing in the air. She laughed as the wind tickled her face, and as her dog snoozed gently upon her belly.
They rested together, staring at the moon while an aromatic scent of Gerbera flowers drifted around. The memory faded, all except the enchanting music.

She didn’t quite give up. She rested, for now. Tucked amongst the walls of her mind, she finally laid down, the tunes staying with her.
It was still there, when she felt herself go out, the flame succumbing to the storm.