Forgiveness

• Kyanna Moore, Grade 11
• Short Story
• 2022

Laying on my bed, the supposedly warm blankets made me shiver. I am forced to think about all that I hate. “I hate being bossed around. I hate being unheard. I hate being brushed off. I hate being forced to grow up. I hate the crushing responsibility put on my shoulders. I hate the fact that no matter how hard I try there is always fault to be found on my part. I hate hating people because I don’t want to accept that I am wrong. But the thing I hate the most is”, I breathe a heavy sigh, “…myself. I hate making mistakes. I hate disappointing people. I hate how I always cry. I hate the way I am too scared to do things. I hate that my moods are all over the place. I hate my selfishness for things I can’t have and I hate that I hate myself.” Tears now sting my eyes as the blurry scene of my bed room slowly fades away along with my consciousness. As I am seconds away from well deserved sleep I hear voices talking to me.
“Everyone experiences a time in their life where they are at an emotional low. It feels like a storm with deadly dark clouds that have no end and could swallow you whole at any time. Lightning shoots from all directions, never ceasing, not providing you any time to breathe.” I feel my own breathing quickening as it resonates with the voices as they continue, “The only light in this hell is the light of fires being burned, singeing whatever was unlucky enough to be touched by its fingers.” My fingers tingle as my heart rate accelerates. “It is alright to feel this way, you are not alone. But what most don’t realise because they are too busy making sure they don’t get burned, is that there is always an eye of the storm where the clouds clear, the lightning fades and the fires dim. It is a place of calmness. A place where you can breathe.” My eyes grow hot as I unconsciously feel tears roll down my cheeks as if in gratitude to the mysterious voices. My heart slows to a comforting “Lub-dub, Lub-dub” as the voices continue, “When at a low people make rash decisions, decisions that hurt them and others around them. It is important to remember to forgive and forget, everything can be forgiven. Though people can forgive you it is important to forgive yourself, then you can move on.” When I awaken I feel as if a weight has been lifted. I feel as if I have been forgiven. All I have to do is forgive myself. It can be hard to do but when done life is so much more radiant.