JumpingToConclusions

• Saramata Durietz, Grade 7
• Poetry
• 2008

It was a normal day at school until the irritating 3 o’clock bell rang. I was on my way out of class all set to walk home. As I turned the sharp corner I was shocked by the presence of my dad and my heart started to race. I hadn’t seen him since I was 2. My feelings were bitter sweet, and I did not know what to do. Was I meant to be happy he was here, or angry because he'd left? This was the question that ran through my mind.

I’m an average 12 year old girl who attends Clendon state school. I’m an outgoing person, who has a lot of friends, but a few problems at home. My father left me and my mother when I was 2 and I hadn’t seen him since. Growing up, I always wondered if he would come back. I had asked my mum many times before about my father, but she always ignored me or changed the subject, which made me wonder even more.

I slowly and cautiously approached him and asked why he was here? Where had he been all this time? Was it because of him I had no father in my childhood? All these questions just blurted out of my mouth like word vomit. As I waited for a reply he looked at me with confusion written all over his face, like I was some kind of stranger. He bent down, stared into my eyes and asked “what are you talking about young girl?” I was shocked by his response and slowly started to tear. Wiping my face I asked myself “Is this man really my father, or is this just wishful thinking?” Then I thought, maybe he just doesn’t know who I really am and he needs a bit of help to remember. After all, it has been 10 years since he last saw me.

I took out the photo, I always kept in my bag, and gestured him to take a look at it hoping he would finally remember. But he was still confused. “Excuse me sir what’s your name?” I quickly demanded. “It’s William” he replied. My cheeks suddenly turned bright red and I realised that this man wasn’t my father because his name was Joseph. Right then and there I wanted to die or faint or something. I was so embarrassed and rapidly started to run in the opposite direction to him. I looked back and saw his adolescent daughter run up to him “I’m really sorry sir! “ I yelled as I fled the scene of my embarrassment. I had run down the hill where I was finally not in sight of him and started talking to myself. “How could I have been so stupid? What was I thinking talking to a stranger who I thought was my father?

I thought about the incident all night and couldn’t stop. All I have ever wanted was a dad, but I felt like that was so wrong because I really loved my mum and nobody could change that. However, since I was old enough to notice that I was the only girl in my school to have no dad I felt like there was an empty space inside of me. “Was I just trying to fill it in with any man?” Out of the blue I heard a “Knock Knock” on the front wooden door. “Who could it be?” I whispered into thin air. As I carefully opened the door, there stood another look-a-like of my father. My heart started to race, as I asked who he was. “Joseph” were the words that released from his mouth and I could feel the void inside me beginning to fill.