Unsure love

• Sarah Sarmiento
• Poetry
• 2006

It has been many long years.
Still I am afraid of this love I have for him.
I ask myself. “If this love is true?”
But my eyes cannot see it through
And I don’t know what my heart will desire
For I don’t get what true love will fire
I think deeply about it.
But the knot is just too strong.
Inside my mind, something is swirling along.
I realised that life was too unexpected.
And then I began to hate my ears catching expectation.
For it isn’t my loving perfection
I hate to hear comments on it
For they cannot predict my future
Like I said anything is unexpected
Hopefully it would happen as I wish it to be.
Hopefully if it doesn’t, my roots will still stand firm.
But still I’m scared to make a risky move.
I’m scared to plant this feeling in his thoughts.
I’m scared to hear those words come out of his mouth.
I’m scared to be ashamed of myself when I get turned away.
I’m scared to be hurt and don’t know what will happen next
But most of all, I’m scared to pretend that this person does not exist in me anymore.