Voices

• Megan Flude
• Short Story
• 2012

“You may think you’re safe, but you know you’re not. In that room with the locked door and window, there are more than two ways into a box. So sleep this night, but know that you will never be safe.”
I lay in my bed that night, listening to the wind whisper outside the window, the trees scratching on the glass like fingers down a chalkboard, but the voice whispering from every corner of the room made me alert. I could not sleep. The voice was everywhere. Echoing and bouncing off the walls, tormenting me, driving me mad.
School the next morning was just the same.
“You think I cannot see you in that crowd? You stand out like a black sheep. You are not hidden. You cannot hide from me, I am everywhere.”
This was too much. I ran home and bolted the door. Slammed and locked each window. I thought I was safe, but I was wrong. Because the voice was everywhere, even in the house.
“You foolish child! I cannot be shut out or locked away. Why even try?”
“Who are you?! What do you want?!” I shouted, huddled in a corner.
“What do I want? I want to be FREE! You think I’m free now but I’m not! I am in shackles and chains. Tied up like a vicious dog. Caged like a bird. Let me free!”
“But where are you? Who are you?” My voice had calmed a little.
“I was like you. Hearing voices and keeping to myself. It was only when I got so furious and shouted at nothing did my parents send me away. ‘It was easier’ they said. Easier to send me away than keep someone who was different. Hear different voices and see different things. But how can you help something you do not control?”
“But why me? Why follow me?” I asked, still huddled in the corner.
“Because you understand. You see and you hear. Help me.”
“But where do I find you?” I began searching the room.
“You must find me. Look in a place you would never look. I am there. Inside. Locked away. Tied down. Alone, so alone. Save me. Let me free. Release me.”

I searched everywhere. Every day I looked. Never looking in the same place twice. Never did I find the voice. But never did I stop searching. I begun to grow so furious and mad. Looking but never seeing. Getting so angry.
“I cannot find you!” I shouted at the air.
“Keep looking. I am there.”
“No you’re not!” I shouted. “I look everywhere, but you’re never there! Please leave me alone! I’m sick of hearing your voice!”
“But you choose to hear me. I am you. You just never listen. If only you did, you might understand yourself more.”
“Be quiet! I don’t want to hear your lies! Leave me alone! I hate you!”
“See I thought it was hate, too. But how can you hate yourself? Is it your fault you never listened?”

The voice finally got to me. I stood still and listened to the voice inside my head, telling me to release it, let it free, untie the ropes, unlock the chains, open the gate. I closed my eyes and saw something only describable as a shadow in chains. I slid the bolts aside and opened the shackles. The shadow fell to the ground in a heap. Laying on the ground before getting to its feet and coming face to face with me.
“Open your eyes”
I did so. Standing in front of me, face to face, was me. I was standing in front of a mirror, staring at my reflection.
“Thank you."